girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We're too hungover to prance.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
