i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
