your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
