im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
only if we run a train.
done.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
