Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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