I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize