I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
