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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you win. again.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought

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