If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...