Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial. http://tfl.nu/2fb2
  Replies (14) Good night (4334) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (2834) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free http://tfl.nu/fc7m
  Replies (33) Good night (4364) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx
  Replies (26) Good night (6372) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits. http://tfl.nu/7sfp
  Replies (25) Good night (1381) Bad night (4916)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat. http://tfl.nu/i3fj
  Replies (6) Good night (2572) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement. (347): I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/2bcu
  Replies (14) Good night (1297) Bad night (5026)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her. http://tfl.nu/lht2
  Replies (14) Good night (4083) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I can't feel my brain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9
  Replies (11) Good night (1982) Bad night (4256)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I stole so many things from the ER last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I stole so many things from the ER last night. http://tfl.nu/lt6b
  Replies (10) Good night (2723) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2809) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors http://tfl.nu/6slk
  Replies (2) Good night (1718) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  possibly by boat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
  Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right. http://tfl.nu/eqzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1188) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m.... http://tfl.nu/8r4i
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (218)

Randomize