he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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