I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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