Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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