did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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