idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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