I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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