If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
