So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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