Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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