You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I forget how to act sober
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