I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
