i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
