the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
