I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
