What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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