so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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