he shaved USA in his pubs
it was like eating out sand paper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
