I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
