I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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