Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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