Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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