I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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