Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
