I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
