i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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