Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
