Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize