john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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