I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
