I'm so fucking centered right now
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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