I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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