It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
BRING THE BAGELS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
