thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
