y did u give ur computer a hand job?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize