Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't think brook has ever known best
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
