No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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