if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize