the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
