i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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