the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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