did you get engaged???
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
