i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
