New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
