if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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