Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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