She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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