He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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