I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
