Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
