i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
