I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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