Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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