i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
