can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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